1
00:00:02,524 --> 00:00:03,574
Uh-uh.

2
00:00:05,396 --> 00:00:06,476
Uh-uh.

3
00:00:07,746 --> 00:00:10,396
You sure you don't want
to help trim the tree, ma?

4
00:00:10,488 --> 00:00:13,708
Far be it from me to tell my grown
daughter how to decorate her own tree.

5
00:00:13,796 --> 00:00:16,706
I feel I've become very skilled at
letting you handle things yourself.

6
00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:20,718
Wow. You said that
with a straight face.

7
00:00:22,674 --> 00:00:24,024
I don't recognize that one.

8
00:00:24,111 --> 00:00:25,331
It's new.

9
00:00:25,416 --> 00:00:27,026
I turned an old
fabric softener ball

10
00:00:27,114 --> 00:00:28,814
into a fragrant ornament.

11
00:00:30,508 --> 00:00:32,268
You know what? I have
the perfect place for it.

12
00:00:32,293 --> 00:00:34,253
So do I. In the trash.

13
00:00:36,297 --> 00:00:41,557
♪ Through this
journey of discovery ♪

14
00:00:41,650 --> 00:00:45,480
♪ you're finding
you, I'm finding me ♪

15
00:00:45,567 --> 00:00:49,007
♪ now that I have
someone special ♪

16
00:00:49,092 --> 00:00:51,142
♪ who brings out the joy ♪

17
00:00:51,225 --> 00:00:52,915
♪ brings out the joy ♪
♪ inside of me ♪

18
00:00:53,009 --> 00:00:55,449
♪ inside of me ♪

19
00:00:55,533 --> 00:00:57,713
♪ we can become
whatever we want ♪

20
00:00:57,796 --> 00:00:59,966
♪ all we need is lovin', yeah ♪

21
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:03,500
♪ that's the way I
feel it should be ♪

22
00:01:03,585 --> 00:01:05,195
♪ you and me ♪

23
00:01:05,282 --> 00:01:08,372
[Off-key] ♪ me ♪

24
00:01:08,459 --> 00:01:10,459
Uh. [Chuckling]

25
00:01:13,725 --> 00:01:15,415
[Knock on door]

26
00:01:15,510 --> 00:01:17,510
Hey, ladies. Mona: Hey.

27
00:01:17,599 --> 00:01:19,169
Oh, Mona. Your tree...

28
00:01:19,253 --> 00:01:21,303
Don't worry. I'm working on it.

29
00:01:23,300 --> 00:01:26,130
I wanted to invite the
two of you and Spencer

30
00:01:26,216 --> 00:01:28,256
over to the house
for a yuletide dinner.

31
00:01:28,349 --> 00:01:30,349
It's our first Christmas
at home in years,

32
00:01:30,438 --> 00:01:31,918
and I want to make
it really special.

33
00:01:32,004 --> 00:01:33,504
Yeah, I guess you
can't travel anywhere

34
00:01:33,528 --> 00:01:35,528
since big bird's
getting ready to hatch.

35
00:01:37,793 --> 00:01:39,323
Look, Spencer
and I will be there,

36
00:01:39,403 --> 00:01:40,933
but I doubt my
mom's going to want

37
00:01:41,013 --> 00:01:42,643
to spend the holiday
with dad and your mom.

38
00:01:42,667 --> 00:01:44,067
You know, Dee
Dee, I'd love to come.

39
00:01:44,147 --> 00:01:45,537
Is it ok if I bring a date?

40
00:01:45,627 --> 00:01:47,317
Ma, that is not
the holiday spirit.

41
00:01:47,411 --> 00:01:49,331
You know dad
is allergic to cats.

42
00:01:50,632 --> 00:01:52,162
I'm not talking about a cat.

43
00:01:52,242 --> 00:01:55,032
I'm bringing a man,
a fine, beautiful man.

44
00:01:56,464 --> 00:01:59,164
Phyllis, I didn't know
you were dating anybody.

45
00:01:59,249 --> 00:02:01,339
Neither did I. Is he a keeper?

46
00:02:01,425 --> 00:02:03,985
Well, I'm trying to keep him
at least until new year's Eve.

47
00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:06,480
I'm tired of kissing a picture of
Morgan Freeman at midnight.

48
00:02:07,257 --> 00:02:08,947
[Knock on door]

49
00:02:09,041 --> 00:02:10,131
What's up, people?

50
00:02:10,217 --> 00:02:11,257
Mona: Hey. Hey.

51
00:02:12,654 --> 00:02:14,534
You handlin' that tree, right?

52
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:16,435
Somebody has to.

53
00:02:16,527 --> 00:02:18,307
I don't want it to
have died in vain.

54
00:02:18,877 --> 00:02:20,267
Look what came today.

55
00:02:20,357 --> 00:02:22,317
The holiday season
has officially started.

56
00:02:22,403 --> 00:02:23,803
Got my mom's fruitcake.

57
00:02:23,882 --> 00:02:26,232
I hope everybody's
been practicing.

58
00:02:26,972 --> 00:02:28,062
Dee Dee: For what?

59
00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:29,848
Our annual fruitcake toss.

60
00:02:29,932 --> 00:02:31,022
Uhh!

61
00:02:31,107 --> 00:02:32,937
Since it's hard as a brick,

62
00:02:33,022 --> 00:02:35,202
we always compete to see
who can throw it the furthest.

63
00:02:35,285 --> 00:02:36,415
What do you win?

64
00:02:36,504 --> 00:02:38,904
You win not
eating the fruitcake.

65
00:02:39,811 --> 00:02:41,251
I haven't tasted one yet.

66
00:02:43,467 --> 00:02:45,167
Well, make sure
you're done with that

67
00:02:45,252 --> 00:02:47,142
before you all come over
to the house for dinner.

68
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:50,337
I am so excited to have
the whole family together.

69
00:02:50,431 --> 00:02:51,871
Oh, and gifts are
not only allowed,

70
00:02:51,954 --> 00:02:53,174
they are encouraged.

71
00:02:54,391 --> 00:02:56,351
Isn't that great?

72
00:02:56,437 --> 00:02:59,047
We don't have to eat frozen
Turkey pot pies and craisins this year.

73
00:03:00,092 --> 00:03:01,882
You didn't tell her
I'd go, did you?

74
00:03:01,964 --> 00:03:04,404
Of course I did. Having a big
family Christmas might be fun.

75
00:03:04,488 --> 00:03:06,338
It'll definitely be better
than the time in college

76
00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:07,800
when we tried to
smoke the mistletoe.

77
00:03:09,450 --> 00:03:12,280
Well, I can't make it.
I already made plans.

78
00:03:12,366 --> 00:03:13,926
Well, I thought
Camille was out of town,

79
00:03:13,976 --> 00:03:15,406
and your plans were with us.

80
00:03:15,499 --> 00:03:17,369
Well, I made other
arrangements, ok?

81
00:03:17,458 --> 00:03:19,418
And I'm late for
something. I'm out.

82
00:03:20,722 --> 00:03:22,852
You know, I think
I finally figured out

83
00:03:22,941 --> 00:03:24,861
what to do with this tree.
Hand me that fruitcake.

84
00:03:25,857 --> 00:03:27,817
Now step back while I wind up.

85
00:03:34,997 --> 00:03:36,867
Mona! You can't eat those yet!

86
00:03:36,955 --> 00:03:38,825
[Mouth full] But this
one doesn't have a head.

87
00:03:40,742 --> 00:03:41,832
[Telephone rings]

88
00:03:41,917 --> 00:03:43,477
Oh, could you get that for me?

89
00:03:45,921 --> 00:03:47,011
Hello?

90
00:03:47,618 --> 00:03:49,448
Hey, Neil. It's Mona.

91
00:03:49,533 --> 00:03:50,713
How are you?

92
00:03:50,795 --> 00:03:52,225
[Mouthing]

93
00:03:52,319 --> 00:03:53,759
Dee Dee? You
know, I just walked in.

94
00:03:53,842 --> 00:03:55,672
Let me see if she's available.

95
00:03:56,410 --> 00:03:58,060
She's right here.

96
00:04:00,718 --> 00:04:02,678
This is why your tree is ugly.

97
00:04:04,896 --> 00:04:06,116
Hey, Neil.

98
00:04:07,072 --> 00:04:09,032
Yeah, it's nice to
hear your voice, too.

99
00:04:09,118 --> 00:04:10,468
It's been months.

100
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:13,911
No. We're staying
home for the holidays.

101
00:04:14,776 --> 00:04:16,996
Uh... sure, you can stop by.

102
00:04:17,605 --> 00:04:18,605
Ok.

103
00:04:18,649 --> 00:04:20,429
See you around 2:00.

104
00:04:21,086 --> 00:04:24,086
Dee Dee, you never see
your ex over the holidays.

105
00:04:24,176 --> 00:04:26,176
That's when people
get lonely and desperate.

106
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:27,566
How do you think I re-hooked up

107
00:04:27,658 --> 00:04:30,008
with the chief dunker
at dunkin' donuts?

108
00:04:31,401 --> 00:04:33,581
Neil and I are over.

109
00:04:33,664 --> 00:04:36,454
Well, how do you know he's not
trying to get back together with you?

110
00:04:36,537 --> 00:04:38,577
Mona, it's Christmas.

111
00:04:38,669 --> 00:04:41,499
I can let him enjoy being
around me for a couple of hours.

112
00:04:42,499 --> 00:04:43,719
It'll be my gift,

113
00:04:43,805 --> 00:04:45,625
and if the man is trying

114
00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:47,560
to get back together with
me, can you blame him?

115
00:04:48,375 --> 00:04:50,195
I'm sure that's not his agenda,

116
00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:51,900
but if it were, could
you blame him?

117
00:04:55,686 --> 00:04:56,986
Oh.

118
00:04:57,079 --> 00:04:58,299
What are you doing here?

119
00:04:58,385 --> 00:04:59,685
Getting my mom's gifts.

120
00:04:59,777 --> 00:05:01,427
You know what a snoop she is.

121
00:05:01,518 --> 00:05:03,778
What are you doing
here in my office?

122
00:05:03,868 --> 00:05:06,478
I'm working... And I
need your zora file.

123
00:05:06,567 --> 00:05:08,607
Spencer, it's Christmas Eve.

124
00:05:08,699 --> 00:05:11,269
And I'm trying to
keep my mind off of it.

125
00:05:11,354 --> 00:05:12,704
You know I have holiday issues.

126
00:05:12,790 --> 00:05:14,880
We've shared our
issues at every Christmas.

127
00:05:14,966 --> 00:05:17,396
We're family. I
know how you feel.

128
00:05:17,491 --> 00:05:18,971
No, you don't,

129
00:05:19,057 --> 00:05:21,407
and to be real,
we're not family.

130
00:05:21,495 --> 00:05:23,885
Well, I feel related when
you need to borrow money.

131
00:05:25,412 --> 00:05:28,502
Look, Mona, there was a time
when neither of us had our dads,

132
00:05:28,589 --> 00:05:30,069
but now you've got yours.

133
00:05:30,155 --> 00:05:32,065
It's not like me and my father

134
00:05:32,157 --> 00:05:33,507
have the greatest relationship.

135
00:05:33,594 --> 00:05:35,254
But you have one,

136
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:37,225
and you know the main reason
why I moved to the bay area

137
00:05:37,249 --> 00:05:38,529
is because I knew
my pops was here.

138
00:05:38,555 --> 00:05:40,595
I know it's hard
for you, Spence.

139
00:05:40,688 --> 00:05:42,688
That's why you should
come to dinner with us...

140
00:05:42,777 --> 00:05:45,817
Look, I don't want to be a part of
the Thorne family Christmas, a'ight?

141
00:05:46,389 --> 00:05:48,299
Fine.

142
00:05:48,391 --> 00:05:50,061
I can't believe you'd
rather feel sorry for yourself

143
00:05:50,088 --> 00:05:51,738
than be around people
who care about you.

144
00:05:58,532 --> 00:06:00,752
I can't believe I am
slaving over a hot stove

145
00:06:00,838 --> 00:06:03,888
when I could be shopping in
Aspen or shopping in Milan.

146
00:06:03,972 --> 00:06:06,022
Whoever heard of being
home for the holidays?

147
00:06:08,498 --> 00:06:09,538
Whoo!

148
00:06:10,457 --> 00:06:12,457
It's a scorcher out there.

149
00:06:12,546 --> 00:06:15,286
We could cook the Turkey
on the hood of the Bentley.

150
00:06:16,419 --> 00:06:17,859
It's damn near 95 degrees.

151
00:06:17,942 --> 00:06:19,772
[Doorbell rings]

152
00:06:22,512 --> 00:06:23,642
Neil.

153
00:06:23,731 --> 00:06:25,601
Merry Christmas.
Good to see you.

154
00:06:25,689 --> 00:06:27,599
And you've gotten
even more beautiful.

155
00:06:27,691 --> 00:06:29,651
Oh. You think so?

156
00:06:30,955 --> 00:06:32,565
I brought you godiva truffles.

157
00:06:32,653 --> 00:06:34,543
Although I think they melted
on the walk from the car,

158
00:06:34,568 --> 00:06:36,658
so it's more like truffle juice.

159
00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:39,917
Hi, Neil. Merry Christmas.
Now close the damn door.

160
00:06:40,008 --> 00:06:42,158
I'm not trying to air condition
the entire neighborhood.

161
00:06:42,184 --> 00:06:43,234
Yes, sir.

162
00:06:45,970 --> 00:06:47,150
Dee Dee,

163
00:06:47,232 --> 00:06:48,472
thanks for letting me come over.

164
00:06:48,495 --> 00:06:50,185
There's something
really important

165
00:06:50,279 --> 00:06:52,039
I've been wanting to say
to you for a while now.

166
00:06:52,063 --> 00:06:54,023
Something important
you want to say?

167
00:06:54,109 --> 00:06:55,759
[Doorbell rings]To me? Really?

168
00:06:55,850 --> 00:06:58,640
Gosh darn. A hostess'
job is never done.

169
00:06:58,722 --> 00:07:00,512
But it'll only take a minute.

170
00:07:00,594 --> 00:07:02,904
And nobody is looking forward
to that minute more than me.

171
00:07:02,987 --> 00:07:04,337
Eggnog's in the kitchen.

172
00:07:06,513 --> 00:07:08,303
What took you so long
to answer the door?

173
00:07:08,384 --> 00:07:10,344
It's like the freakin'
fourth of July out there.

174
00:07:11,213 --> 00:07:13,783
Really. I'm sweating
like Whitney in concert.

175
00:07:14,738 --> 00:07:17,088
And season's
greetings to you both.

176
00:07:17,175 --> 00:07:19,255
Charles: Yes, yes.
Merry Christmas.

177
00:07:19,351 --> 00:07:20,751
Now get your hands
out of my pockets

178
00:07:20,788 --> 00:07:22,268
and close the damn door!

179
00:07:22,354 --> 00:07:24,974
Well, I see scrooge
is in the house.

180
00:07:27,229 --> 00:07:28,399
Where's Spencer?

181
00:07:28,491 --> 00:07:30,061
Not coming. Long story.

182
00:07:30,145 --> 00:07:32,355
My man is coming,
but he's still at work.

183
00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:34,372
On Christmas?
Where does he work?

184
00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:36,804
I'm guessing either
7-Eleven or Denny's.

185
00:07:37,718 --> 00:07:38,938
For your information,

186
00:07:39,023 --> 00:07:40,463
he is at the top of his field.

187
00:07:40,547 --> 00:07:41,897
He is very much in demand,

188
00:07:41,983 --> 00:07:43,643
and this is his busiest
time of the year.

189
00:07:43,724 --> 00:07:47,214
Hello. Phyllis, what
an apropos ensemble.

190
00:07:47,292 --> 00:07:50,032
You dressed liked the
ghost of outfits past.

191
00:07:50,861 --> 00:07:52,561
And I see a
creature is stirring,

192
00:07:52,646 --> 00:07:54,596
and it's big as a house.

193
00:07:54,691 --> 00:07:57,091
[Doorbell rings]

194
00:07:59,566 --> 00:08:01,696
Hey, look, everybody.

195
00:08:01,785 --> 00:08:03,215
It's a Santa...

196
00:08:03,308 --> 00:08:04,878
Just like when we were kids,

197
00:08:04,962 --> 00:08:06,752
only daddy's over there.

198
00:08:06,834 --> 00:08:08,184
So, who are you?

199
00:08:09,184 --> 00:08:10,884
Ho! Ho! Ho!

200
00:08:10,968 --> 00:08:13,098
Merry Christmas.

201
00:08:13,188 --> 00:08:15,628
Why is mommy
kissing Santa claus?

202
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:18,586
I'm guessing desperation.

203
00:08:20,151 --> 00:08:22,071
Everyone, this is Ben.

204
00:08:22,153 --> 00:08:23,593
Ben, this is my daughter Mona,

205
00:08:23,677 --> 00:08:25,237
her little sister Dee Dee. Hi.

206
00:08:25,330 --> 00:08:26,460
Their father Charles,

207
00:08:26,549 --> 00:08:28,119
and his pet giraffe big Dee Dee.

208
00:08:29,857 --> 00:08:30,987
Ben: Nice to meet you all.

209
00:08:31,075 --> 00:08:32,635
Sorry about the suit,

210
00:08:32,729 --> 00:08:34,489
but I just came in from
the children's hospital.

211
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:35,994
Can I change somewhere?

212
00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:37,600
Oh, sure. Follow me.

213
00:08:39,475 --> 00:08:41,955
So, is Santa steppin'
out on mama claus?

214
00:08:42,043 --> 00:08:45,183
He's a very nice man.
We met at the mall.

215
00:08:45,263 --> 00:08:47,313
He threw me a candy
cane as I passed by.

216
00:08:47,396 --> 00:08:48,696
I caught it in my mouth.

217
00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:50,829
How romantic.

218
00:08:50,921 --> 00:08:52,321
I guess catching
frisbees in the park

219
00:08:52,357 --> 00:08:54,357
all those years
finally paid off, huh?

220
00:08:56,231 --> 00:08:57,671
It's the darndest thing.

221
00:08:57,754 --> 00:08:59,634
I got the switch on,
but no air is coming out.

222
00:08:59,713 --> 00:09:02,283
Well, Charles, I see
you're just as handy as ever.

223
00:09:03,281 --> 00:09:06,551
Hey, I just sent Neil around back
the check out the electrical whoozits.

224
00:09:08,722 --> 00:09:10,462
You were right.
Neil wants me back.

225
00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:12,120
He actually said that?

226
00:09:12,203 --> 00:09:13,733
Wow. I can't
believe I was right.

227
00:09:13,814 --> 00:09:15,604
He said I was beautiful,

228
00:09:15,685 --> 00:09:17,725
and he gave me a box
of my favorite chocolates.

229
00:09:17,818 --> 00:09:19,748
Sure, they were melted,
but what else could it mean?

230
00:09:19,776 --> 00:09:21,256
Well, it could mean
you're beautiful

231
00:09:21,343 --> 00:09:23,173
and it's chocolate-meltin'
hot outside.

232
00:09:24,172 --> 00:09:25,252
Or it could mean I'm right,

233
00:09:25,303 --> 00:09:26,423
which I still can't believe.

234
00:09:27,523 --> 00:09:30,133
He also said we
really need to talk.

235
00:09:30,221 --> 00:09:31,531
What a mess.

236
00:09:31,614 --> 00:09:33,404
I hate to break
Neil's heart twice...

237
00:09:33,485 --> 00:09:35,485
And on Jesus' birthday.

238
00:09:36,924 --> 00:09:39,104
Charles, from what little
I know about the kitchen,

239
00:09:39,187 --> 00:09:40,317
it's broken.

240
00:09:42,843 --> 00:09:44,113
I blame Neil.

241
00:09:44,192 --> 00:09:46,112
How do you people
get through the day?

242
00:09:47,543 --> 00:09:49,243
A buddy of mine just called.

243
00:09:49,327 --> 00:09:51,847
There's a brown-out
in the entire bay area.

244
00:09:51,939 --> 00:09:53,029
Oh, that's awful.

245
00:09:53,114 --> 00:09:54,164
Who are you?

246
00:09:55,159 --> 00:09:57,209
This would be my date Ben.

247
00:09:57,292 --> 00:09:59,342
Cleans up pretty
good, don't you think?

248
00:09:59,424 --> 00:10:02,514
There's more to me than a
big red suit and a welcoming lap.

249
00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:06,302
Hey, don't sell yourself
short on that welcoming lap.

250
00:10:07,824 --> 00:10:09,874
Sorry I couldn't
fix your fuse box,

251
00:10:09,957 --> 00:10:11,867
which, by the way,
is in your garage.

252
00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:16,013
So, Dee Dee, can
we talk anytime soon?

253
00:10:16,093 --> 00:10:18,363
Of course we can talk.

254
00:10:22,839 --> 00:10:23,879
Go ahead.

255
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:27,194
Uh... I'd rather
do it in private.

256
00:10:27,278 --> 00:10:29,588
Please. I tell my
sister everything.

257
00:10:29,672 --> 00:10:31,332
Let's just cut out
the middleman.

258
00:10:33,589 --> 00:10:34,849
Dee Dee,

259
00:10:34,938 --> 00:10:36,548
I'm getting married.

260
00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:43,031
You're getting married!

261
00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:44,250
Her name's Janet.

262
00:10:44,339 --> 00:10:45,729
I only met her a few months ago,

263
00:10:45,819 --> 00:10:47,209
but she's amazing.

264
00:10:47,298 --> 00:10:49,558
And I wanted you to
hear the news from me.

265
00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:52,829
Well... this is great.

266
00:10:52,913 --> 00:10:54,613
We should celebrate.

267
00:10:54,697 --> 00:10:56,347
In fact, you should
stay for dinner,

268
00:10:56,438 --> 00:10:59,048
because this is such
big, wonderful news.

269
00:10:59,136 --> 00:11:00,826
Yes. Big it is.

270
00:11:01,922 --> 00:11:03,752
Yes. Yes, it is.

271
00:11:03,837 --> 00:11:05,877
I'll go get us
something to toast with.

272
00:11:06,883 --> 00:11:08,673
And I will help her.

273
00:11:10,887 --> 00:11:12,627
It's starting to
get hot in here.

274
00:11:12,715 --> 00:11:14,885
I don't know if it's
the weather or you.

275
00:11:14,978 --> 00:11:17,718
It's the weather, but
you can blame it on me.

276
00:11:21,506 --> 00:11:23,326
As if this holiday
weren't hellish enough,

277
00:11:23,421 --> 00:11:25,691
now we've gotta watch
the middle class make out.

278
00:11:26,860 --> 00:11:29,430
If it weren't my own
house, I'd leave.

279
00:11:29,950 --> 00:11:32,170
On top of that, it
is so hot in here,

280
00:11:32,256 --> 00:11:33,686
we're gonna have to eat outside.

281
00:11:33,780 --> 00:11:35,610
[Sighs] Why can't
we be at Aspen,

282
00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:39,085
celebrating Christmas in a cozy
chalet, the way god intended?

283
00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:44,090
Ok, Santa.

284
00:11:44,181 --> 00:11:46,791
I think you're a little too
close to the south pole.

285
00:11:48,751 --> 00:11:50,751
Or The Bahamas. We
could've been in The Bahamas.

286
00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:52,840
But no. Now we
have to eat outside.

287
00:11:54,975 --> 00:11:56,145
Are you ok, sis?

288
00:11:56,237 --> 00:11:57,537
Of course, I'm ok.

289
00:11:57,629 --> 00:11:59,019
I'm more than ok.

290
00:11:59,109 --> 00:12:00,829
I mean, Neil's always
wanted to get married,

291
00:12:00,894 --> 00:12:02,334
and now he finally
has what he wants.

292
00:12:02,417 --> 00:12:03,897
Why wouldn't I be happy for him?

293
00:12:03,984 --> 00:12:05,904
'Cause you used to
be in love with him,

294
00:12:05,986 --> 00:12:08,286
and 5 minutes ago you
thought he wanted you back.

295
00:12:08,379 --> 00:12:10,769
Well, I've moved
on. Neil's moved on.

296
00:12:10,860 --> 00:12:12,040
You should move on, too.

297
00:12:12,122 --> 00:12:13,272
You know, Mona, I don't know why

298
00:12:13,297 --> 00:12:14,427
you can't be happy for Neil!

299
00:12:18,346 --> 00:12:19,386
Ugh.

300
00:12:21,523 --> 00:12:23,703
I was hoping when I announced
we were eating outside,

301
00:12:23,786 --> 00:12:24,786
everyone would leave.

302
00:12:24,831 --> 00:12:26,181
I'm praying for bees.

303
00:12:28,138 --> 00:12:30,448
I don't know which of
these is better for Turkey.

304
00:12:30,532 --> 00:12:33,402
Smoky mesquite,
teriyaki, or chipotle.

305
00:12:33,491 --> 00:12:34,711
It doesn't matter, sweetheart.

306
00:12:34,797 --> 00:12:36,357
It's all going to be bad.

307
00:12:39,802 --> 00:12:42,242
Ben! There are people around.

308
00:12:42,326 --> 00:12:43,846
I know, baby.

309
00:12:44,502 --> 00:12:46,682
But I'm finally free
of playing Santa

310
00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:48,896
and all them whining kids.

311
00:12:48,985 --> 00:12:50,805
"Santa, can you get me this?

312
00:12:50,900 --> 00:12:52,730
Santa, can you get me that?"

313
00:12:52,815 --> 00:12:57,035
I got to break free and
indulge in some adult activities.

314
00:12:59,517 --> 00:13:00,687
You get my drift?

315
00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:01,910
Oh, I get your drift,

316
00:13:01,998 --> 00:13:03,148
but you're gonna
get my left hook

317
00:13:03,173 --> 00:13:04,483
if you don't stop it.

318
00:13:05,523 --> 00:13:07,963
Ooh. Feisty.

319
00:13:08,048 --> 00:13:11,088
I wish Santa paws would
show a little decorum!

320
00:13:13,053 --> 00:13:15,663
Why are you so concerned
with that pachyderm in polyester?

321
00:13:16,404 --> 00:13:17,674
I'm not.

322
00:13:17,753 --> 00:13:19,043
I would just like
people in my house

323
00:13:19,059 --> 00:13:20,539
to show some dignity
and self-respect.

324
00:13:20,625 --> 00:13:22,795
I mean, my impressionable
children are here.

325
00:13:28,111 --> 00:13:29,421
Ahem.

326
00:13:29,504 --> 00:13:31,514
Didn't want these
to go to waste.

327
00:13:31,593 --> 00:13:32,993
Big stick, anyone?

328
00:13:36,772 --> 00:13:37,902
Neil?

329
00:13:38,905 --> 00:13:40,685
Can I get some water?

330
00:13:42,778 --> 00:13:43,908
Absolutely.

331
00:13:50,873 --> 00:13:53,483
Actually, can I
just have the ice?

332
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:56,144
Ok.

333
00:13:59,142 --> 00:14:03,022
♪ Silent night ♪

334
00:14:04,495 --> 00:14:09,065
♪ holy night ♪

335
00:14:10,762 --> 00:14:15,592
♪ all is calm ♪

336
00:14:17,247 --> 00:14:18,507
Pardon my reach.

337
00:14:18,596 --> 00:14:20,896
I'll pardon yours if
you pardon mine.

338
00:14:23,210 --> 00:14:24,600
Guess it's not
really the holidays

339
00:14:24,689 --> 00:14:26,999
till someone gets
their Christmas goose.

340
00:14:31,566 --> 00:14:33,736
Spencer, you came.

341
00:14:33,829 --> 00:14:35,349
What's Christmas without me?

342
00:14:35,439 --> 00:14:37,269
Ooh. What's this?

343
00:14:37,354 --> 00:14:39,124
Well, you know a brother
ain't big on shopping,

344
00:14:39,139 --> 00:14:41,319
so I figured I'd give you
something sentimental.

345
00:14:41,402 --> 00:14:44,192
Wow. Spencer, it's nice.

346
00:14:44,274 --> 00:14:45,584
What is it?

347
00:14:46,624 --> 00:14:47,934
Remember when we tried to smoke

348
00:14:48,017 --> 00:14:49,497
that mistletoe back in the day?

349
00:14:49,584 --> 00:14:52,944
Well, I kept the ashes,
the leaf, and the clip.

350
00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:57,984
That is so sweet. And strange.

351
00:14:58,549 --> 00:14:59,589
I love it.

352
00:15:01,117 --> 00:15:03,547
Come on. I also want to tell you

353
00:15:03,641 --> 00:15:05,561
I was stupid and
selfish earlier.

354
00:15:05,643 --> 00:15:07,533
I think it's cool that your
dad is back in your life.

355
00:15:07,558 --> 00:15:09,258
Me, too.

356
00:15:09,343 --> 00:15:11,173
And you are my family.

357
00:15:11,258 --> 00:15:12,518
You always have been.

358
00:15:12,607 --> 00:15:13,907
Aw.

359
00:15:18,700 --> 00:15:21,090
Is Dee Dee going to the
players' club or something?

360
00:15:24,619 --> 00:15:27,539
Mmm. There it is
again, calling me.

361
00:15:27,622 --> 00:15:28,802
Stop it.

362
00:15:28,884 --> 00:15:31,234
Look here, jolly
bold Saint Nick,

363
00:15:31,321 --> 00:15:33,191
it's obvious that Phyllis

364
00:15:33,280 --> 00:15:34,890
doesn't appreciate
your behavior.

365
00:15:34,977 --> 00:15:36,937
But since you don't seem
to be getting the message,

366
00:15:37,023 --> 00:15:39,373
allow me to be clear. Your
Christmas here is over.

367
00:15:39,460 --> 00:15:40,720
Are you serious?

368
00:15:40,809 --> 00:15:43,159
When I'm joking, you'll know it.

369
00:15:45,161 --> 00:15:46,251
Are you coming?

370
00:15:46,336 --> 00:15:47,396
No, I had enough of you, too.

371
00:15:47,424 --> 00:15:48,604
You need to bounce.

372
00:15:49,644 --> 00:15:50,864
So get out.

373
00:15:51,472 --> 00:15:54,612
I mean, go in, and then get out.

374
00:15:56,259 --> 00:15:57,829
That's right, daddy Thorne.

375
00:15:57,913 --> 00:16:00,003
That's how you do it. Man style.

376
00:16:00,089 --> 00:16:02,479
You gotta know how to
handle these things, Chester.

377
00:16:04,833 --> 00:16:06,493
See? Family.

378
00:16:06,574 --> 00:16:08,404
Yes, Charles.
We're all impressed.

379
00:16:08,489 --> 00:16:10,209
I'm going inside. I'm
sure I won't be missed.

380
00:16:11,492 --> 00:16:13,802
This looks like a
2-carat problem.

381
00:16:18,281 --> 00:16:19,331
What's wrong?

382
00:16:20,022 --> 00:16:22,812
Why do you care if that
Santa gropes Phyllis?

383
00:16:22,894 --> 00:16:25,594
Oh, Dee. Phyllis is the
mother of my firstborn.

384
00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:27,070
And?

385
00:16:27,160 --> 00:16:29,550
And our relationship is like...

386
00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:31,860
I don't know. Like an old
house that I used to live in.

387
00:16:31,947 --> 00:16:33,467
But even though I moved out,

388
00:16:33,557 --> 00:16:35,117
I still care that
it's looked after.

389
00:16:35,777 --> 00:16:37,077
There's history there.

390
00:16:37,692 --> 00:16:41,612
So you see Phyllis as an
old, raggedy, run-down house?

391
00:16:43,741 --> 00:16:46,441
With a car up on
blocks in the front yard.

392
00:16:50,748 --> 00:16:52,488
[Mixer starts]

393
00:16:52,576 --> 00:16:53,876
Hallelujah!

394
00:16:56,798 --> 00:16:57,968
Air conditioning.

395
00:16:58,060 --> 00:16:59,630
God bless us, everyone.

396
00:17:06,112 --> 00:17:07,422
I think I should be going.

397
00:17:09,376 --> 00:17:10,986
Why?

398
00:17:11,073 --> 00:17:13,823
Neil, we haven't even
talked about Janet yet.

399
00:17:13,902 --> 00:17:15,512
That is her name, right?

400
00:17:15,599 --> 00:17:17,209
Do you have any pictures?

401
00:17:17,297 --> 00:17:19,467
Remember those
pictures we took, Neil?

402
00:17:21,866 --> 00:17:23,346
Dee Dee, come with me.

403
00:17:28,351 --> 00:17:31,531
Why are you throwing
yourself at an engaged man?

404
00:17:31,615 --> 00:17:33,305
You're embarrassing yourself.

405
00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:37,190
Mona, can't you see
through Neil's whole ruse?

406
00:17:37,273 --> 00:17:39,453
He's just saying
he's getting married

407
00:17:39,536 --> 00:17:41,966
so I'll be jealous
and want him back.

408
00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:45,591
Wow. It is amazing what
the ego does to protect itself.

409
00:17:46,761 --> 00:17:48,021
Think about it.

410
00:17:48,110 --> 00:17:50,030
Where is this Janet?

411
00:17:51,026 --> 00:17:53,546
It's Christmas, and
he's here with me,

412
00:17:53,637 --> 00:17:55,937
eating my food, giving me gifts.

413
00:17:56,031 --> 00:17:58,251
It's me he wants to be with.

414
00:17:58,338 --> 00:17:59,898
You have straight snapped.

415
00:18:01,558 --> 00:18:03,338
Neil is getting married.

416
00:18:03,430 --> 00:18:04,780
I know you're hurt.

417
00:18:04,866 --> 00:18:06,036
This is all new to you,

418
00:18:06,128 --> 00:18:08,218
but take it from
your big sister.

419
00:18:08,304 --> 00:18:10,004
He gone, girl.

420
00:18:13,918 --> 00:18:16,048
But he's not
supposed to be gone.

421
00:18:16,138 --> 00:18:18,748
He's supposed to suffer
at least another year.

422
00:18:19,968 --> 00:18:23,278
Look, Dee Dee, I know
this is hard to hear.

423
00:18:23,363 --> 00:18:25,153
Especially on Christmas.

424
00:18:25,234 --> 00:18:27,584
But you need to face reality.

425
00:18:27,671 --> 00:18:29,241
And if that's too depressing,

426
00:18:29,325 --> 00:18:30,685
just compare your
love life to mine.

427
00:18:30,718 --> 00:18:32,238
That always makes
you feel better.

428
00:18:35,157 --> 00:18:36,897
I'm so glad you're my sister.

429
00:18:36,985 --> 00:18:38,725
Aw.

430
00:18:38,813 --> 00:18:41,603
Now, tell me more stories
about your depressing love life.

431
00:18:45,211 --> 00:18:47,651
I hope I didn't make
you uncomfortable.

432
00:18:47,735 --> 00:18:49,555
I was actually
kind of flattered.

433
00:18:50,259 --> 00:18:52,569
After I got over
being uncomfortable.

434
00:18:54,568 --> 00:18:57,528
I hope you and Jessica
have a great life together.

435
00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:00,140
It's Janet.

436
00:19:01,096 --> 00:19:03,396
And I would've never met
her if you hadn't dumped me,

437
00:19:03,490 --> 00:19:04,930
so thanks.

438
00:19:05,013 --> 00:19:07,973
Don't mention it. Or what
happened here today.

439
00:19:08,059 --> 00:19:09,889
To anyone. Ever.

440
00:19:13,239 --> 00:19:15,459
Take care. Bye.

441
00:19:15,545 --> 00:19:17,675
This turned out to
be a nice Christmas.

442
00:19:17,765 --> 00:19:19,455
Well, it's about to get nicer.

443
00:19:19,549 --> 00:19:20,719
Mona.

444
00:19:21,682 --> 00:19:23,512
You know I have a girlfriend.

445
00:19:24,902 --> 00:19:27,562
And an overblown sense of self.

446
00:19:28,428 --> 00:19:30,468
I'm talking about the
gift I'm gonna give you.

447
00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:32,610
I wanna help you
find your father.

448
00:19:33,824 --> 00:19:34,964
Are you for real?

449
00:19:35,043 --> 00:19:37,133
Absolutely. I'll
ask mom to help.

450
00:19:37,219 --> 00:19:38,999
She's a bloodhound
for men her age.

451
00:19:40,701 --> 00:19:41,701
You'd do that for me?

452
00:19:42,659 --> 00:19:44,009
Merry Christmas, Spencer.

453
00:19:44,095 --> 00:19:46,095
Merry Christmas.

454
00:19:52,408 --> 00:19:56,498
♪ Hark, the herald angels sing ♪

455
00:19:56,586 --> 00:20:00,626
♪ glory to the newborn king ♪

456
00:20:00,721 --> 00:20:04,941
♪ hark, the herald angels sing ♪

457
00:20:05,029 --> 00:20:06,509
♪ glory to ♪

458
00:20:06,596 --> 00:20:11,206
♪ the newborn king ♪

459
00:20:11,297 --> 00:20:14,597
[Sings off-key]

460
00:20:15,736 --> 00:20:16,776
Oh.

461
00:20:17,651 --> 00:20:19,481
Now, this is Christmas.

462
00:20:19,566 --> 00:20:22,126
Let's all remember and
Cherish this moment.

463
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:23,791
'Cause it's never
happening again.

464
00:20:23,841 --> 00:20:28,391
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